I’m abandoning this terrible website. I will continue to do awesome and interesting things…undocumented for the time being.

Tootles.

[[***Editors Note: Could anyone please explain why you have to click on my photos to be able to view them? I’m a n00b. Thanks.***]]

I was born into a house full of guns. There were at least 20 guns in my house at all times when I was growing up. From what I’ve observed this is not uncommon for Michigander families. When I was a kid and my dad asked me if I wanted to go to state land and shoot at broken TVs and bowling balls I didn’t think anything of it.

Now I have come to realize this is probably not the norm for families in the United States, or at least in the Chicago area and its various suburbs. When the subject of guns came up in conversation on Christmas dinner in Hinsdale, a predominantly upper class suburb of Chicago, everyone at the table seemed interested in the idea of a family having so many guns in the household. My friend Johnny, a Hinsdale native described his Hinsdale brothern to have a “healthy white people fear” of guns and would “probably think that a bit insane” to have that many guns in the house.

Nevertheless when Johnny and I embarked on our trip to Michigan after our Christmas dinner in Hinsdale we were excited at the prospects of having a good ol’ rural Michigan adventure shooting at tree stumps and throwing wooden boards in the air and shooting at them.

And that’s exactly what we did.

All in all I’d say shooting guns was 6 out of 10 on a scale of interestingness*.

*Also interesting tip:  “Interestingness” is actually a word. How interesting.

Is this what adulthood is supposed to be like? Bars seem so crowded now. Winter is too cold. My weekends are spent at home. Bubble baths are exciting to me. Leaving the house is hard work. My back hurts when I bend down. I suddenly give a fuck about furniture.

How did this happen? I feel like I was much more interesting in my youth…

• I once paid a hooker-looking girl $1 to bend over for a picture while a huge crowd of people watch
  

• I watched my friends taze his balls over and over

• On more than one occasion, my friends and I camped out overnight for shows in the middle of winter for no reason.

• I worked on Warped Tour one year in the southern-regions where it was 100+ degrees out every day:

• I painted people with house paint:

• I inspired my friends to pee on the t-shirt of a shitty band (And to be fair, I also peed on the shirt):
  [There were videos that I posted on youtube but were quickly removed for inappropriate content.]

• I traveled to practically every state in the US to see concerts, friends, etc. And got very fucked up in the process:
  [Lolz, my ugly pants.]

You get the point. I’m not saying I’m going to start camping out for shows and pissing on shirts again. I’m just going to explore new ways to make my life worthy enough to have a blog dedicated to it. A blog that is actually worthy of people’s time. 

Or I’ll just fail and start a new blog dedicated to furniture and pictures of my dog.

Hmm?? Hmmm??????